Portfolio Polishing

AP Lang

Proofreading & Polishing Checklist

Before you submit your final portfolio, you MUST edit and polish your pieces!!! The feedback you've received from your peers and teacher has been on content only, but the final draft is the time to be sure your mechanics, presentation, and details are clean and correct.  Below are some last revision considerations and a polishing checklist.  Begin at the top, go through EACH step with EACH piece of writing.  Doing so carefully and thoroughly should ensure a reasonably clean final draft.

Add:

1.    Opening sentences that grab your reader’s attention—not in cheesy English 9 ways, but in authentic, thought-provoking ways that get them reading your argument

2.   Sensory detail that creates pathos, ethos, and logos.  Make your readers care about your argument with emotion, trust you because you’ve done your homework and include pertinent details, and understand your logic with solid facts, reasoning, and explanation.

3.   Conversations or thoughts that run through your head—especially in a narrative, use DIALOGUE!  It’s engaging and it shows what’s happening rather than just telling.

4.   Action, gestures, facial expressions, description of place or people, signal words, outside research, narrative details, definition, and explanation can all help your argument.

Subtract (No single argument should be more than 750 words):

1.    The junk—In each sentence experiment with pulling out words you don’t need.  Start with words like “which” and “that” and “started to . . .”  Make your writing FAR more concise than you though you could.

2.   Repetition—read each sentence one at a time out loud.  Get rid of words, phrases, ideas.

3.    Combine and condense sentences so you say the same thing in fewer words and space.  See how tight you can make your argument. 

Substitute and Rearrange:

1.    Use the Find feature.  Find “you”—Do you mean “I”

2.   Find “I” – Do you need third person or impersonal text?

3.   Word choice—Don’t substitute simply using the thesaurus.  Rewrite sentences.  Replace unspecific, or overused words with precise fresh language—but don’t use words you don’t really know or that will sound awkward given your tone and style.

Independent Reading Nabokov Essay

Your last required portfolio piece will be an essay that illustrates your understanding of Nabokov's rules for readers and writers AND how you applied them to your independent reading book this semester.  You will assess yourself as a reader and assess the author of your fiction choice as a writer. This should be done only in the context of the Nabokov piece, "Good Readers and Good Writers." 

Objectives:

• demonstrate your understanding of the Nabokov essay
• analyze yourself as a critical reader, identifying your strengths and weaknesses when reading fiction on your own
• continue your work with argumentation and analysis
• demonstrate your ability as a writer: structure, organization, support, and standard English

The Assignment

This paper should have two distinct parts.  You should begin with a very brief intro where you introduce the title and author of your book, introduce Nabokov and the title of his essay, and include an overall thesis for your paper.  Feel free to fill in the blanks on this one:  "I was a ________ reader of (author's last name)'s great writing."  This is an academic-style essay (though it will be longer than 5 paragraphs) because your audience is your teacher, your authority is your understanding of course content, and your purpose is to show what you know and can do.

  
Part One
In Part One, assess yourself as a reader of your independent reading book using Nabokov's standards of major and minor readers. You must accomplish this in no more than two pages of MLA format, double-spaced, Times New Roman size 12 font.  YOU and the NOVEL are the focus here: Do not summarize Nabokov's points.  Show how YOU stack up to his criteria and make sure you have evidence to support your claims about yourself!

• Remember that your audience is your teacher. We have read the Nabokov essay and do not need it explained.  Keep the focus on you and how you read the novel.
• Consider what textual evidence will best support your points. Make sure you choose the best evidence to prove your point.  You might also quote your own notes as evidence of your critical reading.
• Don't rely on only one part of the text for all of your paper's support. We will question whether you are even familiar with the rest of the book....
• Be specific and avoid the obvious. Does this paper explain how I read this novel in relation to Nabokov or could this have been written by a generic student?  Because this section is about how YOU read the book, it should be written in first person.

Part Two
In Part Two, explain how the author of your book fits all three criteria for Nabokov's major writer. You should also have evidence for this--quotes from the book that SHOW the author fulfilling Nabokov's roles for great writers. This section should also be no more than two pages.  Keep in mind, we made you choose a book that IS great literature.  Therefore, you're not determining IF the write fulfills these roles; your job is to use your critical reading skills to figure out HOW the author does it.

• When you talk about the author as a storyteller, don't simply summarize the novel. Show HOW the author is good at storytelling (the entertainment part)
• Be careful with the enchanter section.  Remember, enchanter doesn't mean magical in a abracadabra kind of way.  It is the artistic brilliance of the author--the way all of the details come together in the end.  Again, don't use plot summary here.  You must prove that the writer is, indeed, an enchanter.
• Because the focus of this section is on the AUTHOR, it should be written in third person--no "I" or "you."

Overall

• Audience and purpose should always influence your tone and level of language.
• No one except you should ever see a first (and probably a second) draft of any major writing assignment.  This paper will not receive formal in-class feedback, but it should be as polished as your other new portfolio pieces.  Make sure the paper you turn in is your best work.

AoW Nov. 20

This week, we need to work on humor.  A lot of people struggled with the Onion analysis on Friday, so let's do a little more practice.  I have selected a very short piece--again from The Onion, again it is satire.  Read the article and spend some time in your journal analyzing the strategies used to make the point:

1. Identify the main argument/point
2. Write at least a half page analysis of HOW the satire works--what strategies is the author using to make fun of his/her subject?  How does it relate to the point about real life?

Good luck, do a good job, and enjoy a few laughs!

Man Who Drinks 5 Diet Cokes Per Day Hoping Doctors Working on Cure For Whatever He's Getting

Upcoming Deadlines!

There's LOTS of stuff to be working on.  If you're one of those students who has only been doing Lang work in class or on Wednesday Workday, it's time for you to change your strategy or you'll be in a world of hurt at the end of the quarter.  You MUST spend some homework time on AP Lang--writing, reading, probably both.  Here are the big deadlines coming up:

• Thursday, Nov. 21--We will go over Nabokov/ind rdg paper details in class
• Friday, Nov. 22--Your LAST opportunity for feedback on writing for your portfolio. Something is due in Turnitin for peer and teacher review--make it something worth getting feedback on... You can begin reading the peer reviews assigned to you anytime AFTER midnight.
• Tuesday, Nov. 26--You will have completed and we will have scored examples of all THREE in-class essay in class by now.  You will need to choose YOUR BEST of the three to hand in for a grade.
• Wednesday, Nov. 27--Peer reviews need to be done by midnight AND your FINAL DRAFT of your definition argument is due.  At the end of your final draft, be sure to include a one-page reflection on the process you went through to get to your final draft:  What kind of feedback was helpful?  What parts of the assignment were difficult? What aspects of writing frustrated or challenged you?  Which aspects were fun, easy, or felt successful?  How do you feel about your finished product?  What did you learn about yourself as a writer as you went through this drawn-out process of revision and more revision?  This self-reflection is a MAJOR part of your grade.  After that many drafts and opportunities for feedback, all of you should have A's for quality.  Roughly half of your grade, then, is based on HOW you got there and what you learned about writing. The reflection is your opportunity to show YOUR side of the story (beyond meeting deadlines, incorporating feedback into your drafts, etc.)
• After Thanksgiving--We begin 2-a-week lab days.
• Monday, Dec 9--Journals due for quarter grade.
• Wednesday, Dec 11--Portfolios due.  This is an electronic portfolio, submitted to Turnitin. You do not need a 3-ring binder or crazy document covers or anything of the sort.  This is an almost-paperless class--we won't change that for the portfolio either.  A portfolio is a collection of work that documents your writing over time, growth, and achievement of particular skills and concepts.  You will put all of your pieces into one document which can then be uploaded to Turnitin.  Very clear logistical instructions are coming your way after Thanksgiving. For now, work on getting the writing done!
• Friday, Dec 13--2nd quarter exam
• Semester Exam--You have to come.  There are no exemptions.  During that testing period you will complete a persuasive argument in which you self-assess your learning so far in the course and argue what grade you deserve for your progress in both writing and critical reading.  More info to come, but it will be big and time-consuming, though not something you have to study for.

AoW Nov. 13

Here's an article by Stephen King (actually published in Playboy back in the day) that talks about the appeal in horror.  Might be interesting for those of you writing about violence in the media/video games.  Enjoy!

Chapter 13 on Humor

You read the chapter on humor.  There are LOTS of considerations when it comes to humor. Be sure you know and understand the potential benefits and problems with humor that your textbook outlines when it comes to rhetoric.  Later this week, you'll be analyzing an argument completely based on humor--satire to be specific.  But there are lots of other ways to use humor.

I've chosen a Dave Barry column for you to read.  Keep in mind that a columnist is read by many, mostly for enjoyment and funny/interesting commentary on life and society.  Therefore, his "argument" has a far different purpose and audience than the pieces you'll write for AP Lang.

Read the article and make note in your journal the various types of humor he uses.  See if you can see examples of the types of humor your textbook laid out for you.  Note examples/quotes from the text that demonstrate that.  Also pay attention to where his humor works--what makes you laugh either out loud or in your head OR makes a point by being funny.  Where does his humor not work for you--you don't get it or it has a bigger potential for being offensive to some part of the audience?

You should only spend about 10 minutes on this article and the journaling.  Then, return to my classroom, get into groups of 3-4, and discuss the questions I have left for you.  Be sure to note in YOUR OWN JOURNAL the answers your group comes up with.

AoW Oct. 23

Your portfolio writing can be anything--any argument you want to make.  You can be inspired by a journal prompt, another class, something on Twitter, an AoW, or just your life.  This is a piece I wrote for a writing class two summers ago.  It was inspired by my love/hate relationship with my house--specifically the two outlets in my bedroom that have a window air conditioner, bedside lamp, baby monitor, two phone chargers, and a fan that all need to be plugged into them.  But that was only the inspiration--it became an argument about something else.

Read the piece.  In your journal, note stylistic techniques you like, rhetorical modes or appeals you notice, and any topics from your own life you might think of while reading.  Once you're done reading the whole piece, also pinpoint in your journal the claim (thesis), reasons, and warrants going on.

My House

by Kim Grissom

An old house is a beautiful thing.  Something with its own soul, its own personality, a rich history that gives it what they call character.  Many years ago I thought I’d want a new house—one with modern sleek lines, open floor plan, crazy huge kitchen.  All in a new section of town where everything was shiny and hip.  At some point I changed my mind about all of that.

I dreamed of a wide porch on the front where I could sit under a ceiling fan with a cup of coffee watching the neighborhood go by.  I wanted plain, wide trim and floors that creak, and established trees that throw long shadows over homes and yards.  I didn’t want to be in a subdivision—I wanted to be right in the thick of things.  Right where I could watch the goings-on of a community from my kitchen window while I wash dishes.

And I got it all.

I got the porch so deep I can always find a shaded seat even though it faces south.  There’s no ceiling fan, but there’s space for the blue baby swing that flies protected from rain and sun.  I got the trim and the creaky floors and shade and three blocks from the square.  I even got more:  windows in closets, built-ins in nearly every room, radiators.  I got steps that tell you someone’s on them, 43 windows that allow the breeze to keep the plaster-walled rooms cool and comfortable until it gets above 85 degrees outside.

I got a tiny bedroom, no bigger than any of the other bedrooms so it can’t really be called a master.  And it doesn’t have its own bathroom; it shares the only upstairs bathroom with two other bedrooms.  There’s a closeness to that.  The same kind of closeness of sleeping with the doors to those bedrooms open at night to allow the cross-breeze to keep us all comfortable.  There’s a different kind of family in that—not closing everyone off to sleep in privacy, but allowing the snores to wander into another room and to hear the swishing of a child turning over.

I got the detached garage.  One I have to scoop myself to in the winter. But also a cute bricked walkway through a miniature backyard, just big enough for a 9-pound dog (or a toddler) to run circles in.

I got tall ceilings, a small kitchen, clawfoot tubs, and knob and tube wiring.  I got only two outlets in my bedroom.

And what I love about all of it is the constant reminder of the way things used to be.  A more uncomfortable day, perhaps—no central air in July is certainly sweaty regardless of how many windows there are.  But a reminder of an age that wasn’t disposable.  Where houses were built to stand forever, where craftsmanship was valued, where you put your money in quality and usefulness.  Where homeowners didn’t settle for lower-quality building materials in order to pay for the top-of-the-line appliances and new furniture.  

A day where community mattered.  Where kids played outside and adults talked to neighbors from their porches.  Where people walked to work.

Do you know I have neighbors who drive 2 to 6 blocks to their job and back every day?  What would our great grandparents think of that?

What would they think of houses that only have windows in the front and back?  Of houses with no porches?  Only fenced-in yards with back decks hidden from the neighbors.  What would they say of people who don’t know their neighbors?  Who are afraid to let their children play outside without a fence to shield them from strangers’ eyes?

My house reminds me of the difference time has created.  It reminds me of the changes in our society and makes me yearn to take the old ways—at least some of them—back.  It reminds me that we shouldn’t get rid of the old just because it IS old.  We, too, should value quality.  Central AC is good—a great addition to an old house (if you can afford it).  But why can’t we learn from the old ways, before they had air conditioning? Why do we build houses that force us to keep the windows closed and run the AC merely because the pleasant temperature outside can’t find a way in?  Why do we drive ourselves and our children less than a mile to work or school when walking or biking would be almost as fast and far better for us? Why do we shut ourselves off from others when creating a neighborhood is a step toward a safer place for our children to play?

There is wisdom in my house.  It’s got wooden floors with nail heads poking up and cracked walls and breakers that trip at tiny things.  But it’s been around for 97 years and like most things that have survived that long, it could teach us a thing or two.

Instead of a 1-page reflection of this article/topic this week, write a 1-page journal in which you reflect on something in your life that you love or that bugs you or that you have a love/hate relationship with. Figure out something that you actually just want to write about and do so. It may end up to be inspiration for your own portfolio piece. =)